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Accomplices: It Dies Today, General D.Kay, Tim Nikkel, Rainie, Poppa Chris and Soda Jerk Presents

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The Final Interview of Kittie

So...first of all, your band name is Kittie, which, as we all know is another word for vagina! What is it like have that dark, fuzzy hole...thing (grimaces in pain)...between your legs?

(Band laughs)

Mercedes: It's pretty alright!

Morgan: Yeah, it's pretty awesome, but I would like to point out that ours are not dark and fuzzy.

You shave them?

Morgan: Yes.

Why do you shave? Is it because a male mortal asked you to?

Morgan: No (laughs) So that they're not thick and scary

You mean 70's bushes?

Tara: No 70's bushes for us!

Has it ever occurred to you that vaginas look like hatchet wounds?

(Band laughs)

Tara: I don't think our vaginas look like hatchet wounds.

So, how long has Kittie been together now?

Mercedes: 11 years, now.

When you began, Grunge music was happening and Metal was trying to regain a foothold. Was it a struggle for you? Or has their always been a large audience for you particular brand of Metal?

Morgan: I don't know...when we first started, we were really into the Grunge thing as well. We were like, 12, 13 years old.

Did you wear flannel?

Morgan: NO!...definitely not.

Mercedes: Metal had always been around for us. We've always l loved Metal, however it's always been a struggle for us... probably because of our vaginas! (laughs)


(More laughter)

Metal was initially much more male-dominated. However, there are now quite a few female mortals in the genre. How has that effected Kittie through the years?

Morgan: There is a lot more media and mainstream acceptance, but at the same time, there will always be the novelty factor.

Even still?

Morgan: Yes. There will always be curiosity-seekers, but it's also what gave us our initial boost and our initial audience.

What about male mortal in bands? How have you been treated by them through the years?

Mercedes: They love us.

Morgan: With all the bands we've toured with over the years, there's never been a problem.

That's because they want to touch your vaginas!

Tara: It seems like before they meet us, they'll admit they might have expected something different.

What do you think they expect?

Tara: That maybe we're gonna be bitches or something.

Morgan: Yeah ...catty nature.

YES!!...Well since you brought it up, I want to know more about that! I want to know about your yucky, female-mortal menstrual cycle.


How does blood shooting out of your vaginas, once a month, effect your music? Does it make for better rock and roll? Or worse?

Morgan: I think it makes for worse. It's not a lot of fun, actually. If there is one thing I could change about my vagina, that would be it.

Well the, what if you didn't have a vagina? What if you could have a weiner for a day. What would you do with it?

Mercedes: Stick it in everything.

Morgan: We've actually talked a lot about this (laughs)!

If you could take your weiner and fuck any guy in a band, who would you choose?

Tara: Nick, from IT DIES TODAY

(Everybody laughs and agrees!)


Tara: I like his buttcheeks


YES!....he's so cute and cuddly, not to mention he's a drummer. Drummers aren't too bright and easy to take advantage of!

Morgan: (Laughs) Ahh...that's terrible of you!

Have you ever had male groupies?

Morgan: There are definitely times when there are guys at our shows, that are attractive enough know, possibly get with the band. It doesn't happen all that often.

Why do you think that is?

Mercedes: Because they're married. I'm the only bad one.

Morgan: Not only that, but our fans are either really, really young, or really, really...

Tara: Old!

Mercedes: I've seen some attractive men at our shows though.

Tara: And we love all our fans.

Last question! What does everybody need to know about Kittie?

Tara: We don't only have shaved vaginas, we also have gorgeous breasts

Who has the nicest breasts in the band?

Tara: I would say Mercedes.

Morgan: Yeah, Mercedes got all the boobs in the family.

Anything else that needs to be said?

Morgan: Pick up the new CD. It's out now. It's called Funeral For Yesterday.